so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
