I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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