Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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