I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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