I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
