Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
