I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
