oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize