you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
