well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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