So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
