I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
