Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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