Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
