The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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