Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
