Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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