Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
