I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
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she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
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My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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