Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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