When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
