Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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