Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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