In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Please don't give away my fajitas
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize