So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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