sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
is it fun? or sober?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
