i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
