It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
