Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
