I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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