Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
