i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I did not marry a roomba.
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