the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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