oh god the rape fog is back!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
