In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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