Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
