you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
