Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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