ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
