The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
