I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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