Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Congratulations! We have a period
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