I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
