never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
