Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
