tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.