My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now