An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.