carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.