Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize