She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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