I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
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Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
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I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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