so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
