dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just want nice things and good sex
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
How naked do you want me to be?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
