Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
