I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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