Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...