Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off http://tfl.nu/2ezh
  Replies (63) Good night (1385) Bad night (9736)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life. http://tfl.nu/74qx
  Replies (17) Good night (5685) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin? http://tfl.nu/252o
  Replies (16) Good night (4033) Bad night (2123)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang. http://tfl.nu/ryqf
  Replies (8) Good night (3398) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever. http://tfl.nu/k2hn
  Replies (90) Good night (1821) Bad night (24676)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone" http://tfl.nu/b2m1
  Replies (15) Good night (4783) Bad night (1379)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot http://tfl.nu/y6a1
  Replies (12) Good night (3470) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home? http://tfl.nu/3vxh
  Replies (2) Good night (2514) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver. http://tfl.nu/plce
  Replies (8) Good night (2237) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/3dw9
  Replies (22) Good night (1909) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke. http://tfl.nu/6dxv
  Replies (7) Good night (1710) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free. http://tfl.nu/oqtb
  Replies (3) Good night (1101) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted... http://tfl.nu/r2o3
  Replies (1) Good night (1516) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking http://tfl.nu/99b5
  Replies (4) Good night (918) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart

  (416): View more from Toronto

  That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart (416): That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you. http://tfl.nu/90qz
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (393)

Randomize