Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.

  (708): View more from Illinois

  We need to hang out more often

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  (419): Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol. (708): We need to hang out more often http://tfl.nu/04n9
  Replies (13) Good night (2827) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"

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  (708): I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME" http://tfl.nu/3lzs
  Replies (39) Good night (10215) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE

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  (978): i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE http://tfl.nu/7vd6
  Replies (9) Good night (1056) Bad night (4663)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?

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  (913): What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase? http://tfl.nu/cv8y
  Replies (9) Good night (2516) Bad night (1483)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.

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  (720): She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/5m3k
  Replies (41) Good night (9592) Bad night (3461)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..

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  (781): You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/rd8s
  Replies (4) Good night (2525) Bad night (1388)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.

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  (540): About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience. http://tfl.nu/yfor
  Replies (6) Good night (1622) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.

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  (773): Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets. http://tfl.nu/4kdw
  Replies (11) Good night (839) Bad night (2937)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that

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  (262): Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that http://tfl.nu/fjxw
  Replies (9) Good night (675) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.

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  (912): Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks. http://tfl.nu/l0wp
  Replies (5) Good night (1197) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?

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  (423): This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean? http://tfl.nu/py5a
  Replies (5) Good night (522) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag

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  (916): That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag http://tfl.nu/rjsr
  Replies (6) Good night (1532) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there

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  (419): you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there http://tfl.nu/8eig
  Replies (0) Good night (376) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2

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  (616): i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool. (616): someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2 http://tfl.nu/9ec4
  Replies (3) Good night (453) Bad night (768)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.

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  (617): My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag. http://tfl.nu/a3yi
  Replies (4) Good night (553) Bad night (536)

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