Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.

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(954): View more from Florida

Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(941): View more from Florida

sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar

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(416): View more from Toronto

Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science

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(602): View more from Arizona

You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any

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(512): View more from Texas

Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender

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