Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

are we going to glenview for practice??

(847): View more from Illinois

(3 hrs later) aids

(248): View more from Michigan

where r u? what is story? im way too high right now

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(248): are we going to glenview for practice?? (847): (3 hrs later) aids (248): where r u? what is story? im way too high right now http://tfl.nu/h122

Replies (5) Good night (1135) Bad night (619)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys

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(919): please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys http://tfl.nu/inic

Replies (21) Good night (939) Bad night (4719)
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(847): View more from Illinois

we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u

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(847): we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u http://tfl.nu/tlcn

Replies (5) Good night (3178) Bad night (675)
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(585): View more from New York

Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.

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(585): Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird. http://tfl.nu/h1yk

Replies (8) Good night (2973) Bad night (1542)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.

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(843): Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place. http://tfl.nu/9vyk

Replies (36) Good night (1660) Bad night (6113)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Dude she let me cum on her face

(1-843): View more from South Carolina

You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning

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(843): Dude she let me cum on her face (1-843): You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning http://tfl.nu/f5g3

Replies (116) Good night (3432) Bad night (10289)
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(720): View more from Colorado

These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.

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(720): These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo. http://tfl.nu/f63z

Replies (5) Good night (2961) Bad night (1378)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.

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(970): Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day. http://tfl.nu/cvyh

Replies (10) Good night (1394) Bad night (1302)
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(415): View more from California

i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation

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(415): i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation http://tfl.nu/jvhd

Replies (7) Good night (2252) Bad night (591)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?

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(775): He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him? http://tfl.nu/kkqj

Replies (19) Good night (689) Bad night (1729)
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(619): View more from California

I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.

(1-619): View more from California

Very innocently.

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(619): I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend. (1-619): Very innocently. http://tfl.nu/o8xf

Replies (19) Good night (3011) Bad night (622)
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(727): View more from Florida

Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?

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(727): Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots? http://tfl.nu/ihjx

Replies (4) Good night (1919) Bad night (584)
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(630): View more from Illinois

like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.

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(630): like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant. http://tfl.nu/ihww

Replies (7) Good night (336) Bad night (769)
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(330): View more from Ohio

can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism

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(330): can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism http://tfl.nu/db2b

Replies (3) Good night (593) Bad night (233)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle

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(405): he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle http://tfl.nu/f8qt

Replies (6) Good night (124) Bad night (437)

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