I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she looked like the before picture.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
splinters make it hard to masturbate
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
