I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
