So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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