at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
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Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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